I often wonder how I got here.
Whole like this. Stable like this. Shaken, stirred, yet still, like this. I should be pulling your unholy words from my wounds, those bloody shards of stained glass. setting smoke to my neurons, suffocating the memories with gas. bleaching you from my blood to get you from under my skin. dissecting you from my DNA, to unravel you from within. I should be broken. But I’m not. She’s
cloaked in the color of darkness, sultry little black dress of death And with each threatening step, each tantalizing breath, she takes a little part of you. And yet you dance, two-stepping on a tightrope, lost in your intoxication, a drunken moving meditation, dodging flames as the world burns, she’s gotten a hold of you. And still you dance, because you know she cannot touch you can only have so much of you no stranger to chaos, are you? You love to play with fire so you dance. Dance until the storm becomes you. Dance until the flames engulf you. Dance until the waters drown you. So then maybe you can be free. You’re desperate to be free, so you dance a little quicker, swallow down your liquor, quickly quench your thirst, and then, in your lusty rebirth, she consumes you. Are you tired yet? Too bad. There’s more fun to be had, gird your loins and hold your stance, best get comfortable in your trance, there’s no escaping this game of chance, so if you want to live, then you’ve got to dance. the thing about New York is
don't wear enough layers and you'll spend all eternity picking frost off your bones - Brick If I die tonight
I can be born again tomorrow. Rebirthed from the fires of surrender, I am a world anew. I regret not the ashes, nor do I drown in the sorrow. Baptized by the flaming waters, I am the sweet adieu. Welcome to Clusterfuck Circus
The most dangerous show around Where ignorance and hypocrisy And narcissism abound The cries are pain-filled and bloody But no one hears a sound Not when the Greatest Distraction On Earth Comes sauntering into town Forget your troubles, Forget your cares, Forget reality, Forget your fears ‘Cause here at the Clusterfuck Circus There are illusions to be sold, Fantasies to be crafted, Lies to be told, Seeking your latest delusion? Come on up, we’ve got plenty! You’ll be so drunk on make-believe, You won’t see that your cup is empty Your pockets have been pilfered, Into poverty you’ll perish You’ve gambled and sold and compromised All the things you cherish “But I didn’t mean to do it!” It doesn’t matter what you meant In all your ignorant and blinded zeal You gave up your consent And now the life you thought you knew Is caught beneath the rubble Never in your wildest dreams Could you imagine this much trouble All because you got caught slippin’ Reveling in glitz and glamor You missed all the calamity, Ignored all of the clamor And while the aware were jumping ship, You were all too enraptured, They knew they could imprison you Once your attention was captured So welcome to Clusterfuck Circus You’re worse off than when you came, You should’ve heeded the warnings, Don’t hate the messenger - hate the game. you were born in the crucible
of words and deeds unspoken and wild swaddled too tightly in cloaks of secrecy you are the taboo child today you will walk the shards of your shattered innocence, and baby girl, your feet will bleed shackled by your truth, you tremble but the courage to speak will set you free tomorrow, you shall be free. and every tomorrow thereafter you will be reborn in the image of your choice but promise me please promise me you'll never lose your voice lull me back to sleep
and maybe the nightmare will cease toss me, rapt in blissful unawareness, back into the mouth of the slumbering beast lay me in the cradle of the puppet masters, oh maybe, from that naked vantage, I can understand what comforts them so lull me back to sleep and maybe the vice won't feel so tight and I'll convince myself I'm being swaddled, cuddled safely in bed at night drift me to a field of dreams right off of freedom's end and in my intoxicating somnolence take all that I've vowed to defend lull me back to sleep a hypnosis satisfyingly sweet where the battle is fought in a field of poppies to numb the bitter blow of defeat for if I must surrender and here my body must comply then let my conscious soul slip gently, back to the stars, back to the sky
maybe
the cycles of time carousel us into parallel orbits for a time two souls in suspension in space for a time two hearts bound by a beat for a time two tongues entangled in a tango for a time two drops of dew becoming one for a time two winds wound into a waltz for a time, for a time. and then, we’re not. I am a minefield
awash in the most intoxicating of poppies, spoon-feeding you the last bits of sunshine before the darkness takes hold. I am a ticking time bomb, enveloped in a wrapping of velvet bound with the shiniest of bows. I am the harsh throat-burn of ginger, the unassuming looming, creeping of the tequila settling in, ready to be your soothing night companion, loosening your lips just enough to hear all your secrets. You trust me. You trust me but I'm dangerous, I'm unstable, and my mouth is slick like black ice on midnight pavement. But you kiss it like it's honeycomb and your sugar is low. And your lips, hot like the noontime sun set my armor ablaze, and for this moment, I am vulnerable. In this moment, I am tamed. |
WriterNiv Mullings Archives
February 2024
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